Q&A 20 – Two Ways to Look at an Uncomfortable Feeling

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We innocently tend to think of discomfort and unwanted feelings (like food cravings) as problems that need to be solved. What if they are actually something else? What if they are reminders, pointing us toward our true nature of peace, calm and joy?

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Show Notes

• How we innocently compound our discomfort by thinking it’s a problem
• What if we saw unwanted feelings as feedback, pointing us to our true nature?
• How we’re surrounded by a sea of wisdom at all times that can help us with any problem

Transcript of episode

Hello, explorers and welcome to Q&A Episode 20 of Unbroken podcast. I’m your host, Alexandra Amor.

Today the topic is about two ways to look at an unwanted feeling.

I was journaling this morning in my journal, as I often do on a quiet Sunday morning, and I had this situation where I was uncomfortable about something. I had a really distinctly uncomfortable feeling. And for the past couple of days before that I had been wondering what to do about the feeling. And as I journaled, I reflected that there are two very distinct ways to deal with an unwanted feeling when it comes up.

And that the understanding that I explore on this podcast has pointed out to me the fact that there are these two different ways to deal with things like this, and how the old way, which I’ll talk about in a second, that I used to deal with things was really fraught with a lot of anxiety and pressure and self recrimination.

The second way that I’ve learned to deal with these things like this on uncomfortable feelings, or unwanted feelings, discomfort, things that look like problems, is so much more peaceful and relaxed, and it just flows so much better.

The Old Way to Deal with Uncomfortable Feelings Like Cravings

So let me share a bit about what I see about this. When we have an unwanted feeling, and that could be a craving, it could be something like the drive to overeat the first way, and this is the way that I learned how to deal with any situation like that in the past was or is to see that feeling as a problem. Let’s say you’ve got a craving, and you we culturally, we just kind of automatically look at the drives that we feel to participate in an unwanted habit, the cravings that we have, we see them as problems. And that’s totally innocent and totally natural.

I approached that situation like that for three decades. And unfortunately, what happens is when we look at an uncomfortable feeling, and unwanted feeling like it’s a problem, then innocently, we end up layering a whole bunch more thought, and thinking onto this to a situation that a doesn’t require it and doing that really isn’t helpful at all.

Speaking from my own experience, looking at my unwanted overeating habit, and the feelings that were associated with that, looking at that like it was a problem actually only dug me deeper into the hole of having that unwanted habit.

When I saw that situation, that feeling, as a problem that meant that I was looking for solutions. And as I said a little bit earlier, adding a whole bunch more thinking on to that situation. Where might it have originated from? And what what might have caused this within me? What sort of brokenness or damage within me might have caused me to have these ongoing cravings?

The the more years that went by with me thinking about that situation like it was a problem, the more the more thinking and the more discomfort was heaped on top of what was already originally there. And like I say that it was like trying to get out of a hole that I was in by digging deeper into the hole.

Again, we’re always doing this innocently. I’m not laying blame at my own feet or anybody else’s feet. This is how we tend to look at the human journey and the human situation and it’s only when I began to explore that this inside out understanding that seeing that situation, that uncomfortable feeling, that unwanted craving for food, not as a problem but as something else, that’s what began to release me from the unwanted habit itself, ironically.

That brings us this brings us to the second way that we can look at how we deal with or experience an unwanted feeling.

This way, is the much more peaceful way. It’s the way that we lean into what’s happening and see the wisdom within it. So when we have an unwanted feeling, or an uncomfortable feeling like I had this morning the second way that we can look at that is like it’s information. It’s feedback. It’s coming from our beautiful, innate divine design. And it’s simply letting us know, two things, at least, this is what I see:

1. It’s letting us know the quality of our thinking is a little bit cloudy, perhaps, or messed up, or it’s not as clear and wise as it could be.
2. The second thing that it’s telling us is that, as I mentioned this on last week’s podcast as well, we’ve temporarily innocently forgotten who we are. We’ve forgotten that we’re entirely made of well-being, and peace, and that our default way of walking through life is one of joy, and wonder, and delight.

Those uncomfortable feelings that come up within us, whether that’s a craving, or whether that’s an annoyance at your spouse, or whether that’s an argument with a neighbor, maybe some really grouchy feelings about your next door neighbor, or whatever it is. That is simply information.

What it what it’s taught me to do, when I feel that way, is to not layer more thinking onto the situation. So if we can catch ourselves when we have a really uncomfortable feeling and there’s going to be a lot of habitual thinking that comes along with uncomfortable feelings, and unwanted feelings, and that’s okay. But eventually, you might be able to catch yourself when that’s happening and simply wonder about the feedback that that feeling has given you.

There’s really nothing at that point that we need to do. And I always, in my mind, picture myself taking the problem and setting it down. Like literally, I picture it like it’s in a little container, a little box, with a nice lid and everything (because I love boxes) and setting it aside, putting it on a table and just leaving it there. And every once in a while my mind will come back to it, and want to chew it over a little bit. And then I might remember that I don’t need to do that. I can just leave it there.

There’s something greater at play that’s trying to help me.

As I talked about in previous episodes, we’re always, always swimming in a sea of wisdom, and unlimited possibilities and infinite answers to any problems that we have. It’s everywhere, in every direction that we can look. There’s this wisdom and innate universal intelligence that is available to us. And so if we can simply remember to lift our heads up and rely on that wisdom, that’s the way that uncomfortable, unwelcome feelings get resolved.

And that applies to an argument with your neighbor. If we leave that alone or your spouse, leave that situation alone and wait until we feel like our thinking is at a better place that we’re thinking more clearly. And you can just feel that. 

you know the difference between when we’re rattled and maybe being a little bit mean to ourselves and uncomfortable.

There’s a difference between that and when we’re in a really clear state of mind.

And that unwanted craving or feeling is really just there as a reminder. It’s like a little mindfulness meditation bell, letting us know what’s happening with the quality of our thinking.

So I could encourage you the next time you feel something uncomfortable or unwanted going on within you. I just wonder if you could try to catch it and see it for what it is. And that’s really all that you need to do. This isn’t homework. But it’s an exploration of the brilliance of our true design, our true nature.

I hope that’s been helpful, and that you are doing well and I will talk to you again next week. 

Take care. Bye.

Featured image photo by Antonio Feregrino on Unsplash