Your Memoir Is Not About You

Did you read that title right?

Your memoir is not about you?

The word ‘memoir’ comes from the Latin memoria, which means ‘to remember’. When the word entered the English language it came to mean ‘a note to remember’ and later evolved to the definition we’re more familiar with today; that is, a story based in one’s own experience.

So it’s a story about the author and their experience.

How, then, is it also not about the author?

One day, ideally, your memoir is going to be read by others. Hopefully, lots of others. What you’ve written will reach into their hearts and move them. It could potentially change their minds about something, or help them to have empathy in a way they haven’t before.

The author of a memoir is tasked with bringing their reader into a world and into experiences that the reader may never encounter.

Therefore, at some point in the writing process, the author must pivot from thinking that the story is all about them, to understanding that the story has to also become about the reader.

Pivoting to the reader

What does the reader need?

How will they experience the story?

How can the story be written in such a way that it becomes an invitation to the reader, a dance with their imagination?

Cocktail Party

We’ve all been at a social event, talking to someone who has a great life story – maybe they sailed around the world, or raised seven adopted children, or invented the intermittent windshield wiper. ‘Fascinating!’ you say to this person. ‘Tell me more.”

And then, unfortunately, they comply with that request…without ceasing. Without drawing breath. They’ve got a captive audience now and they Will. Not. Let. You. Go.

And it is interesting, the story they’re sharing. But they might as well be talking to a wall. There’s no real need for you to be there. They’re pitching verbal balls at you in such rapid succession, that you, the audience, don’t have time to breathe or think.

The person with the interesting story doesn’t really care about you. They just want praise and recognition for what they’ve gone through and the story they’re telling about it.

Don’t Write the Memoir Equivalent of This Conversation

Your audience matters. You need to be engaging with them, even though you won’t be having an actual conversation with them. When you’re polishing your memoir, your readers need to be top-of-mind.

Yes, it’s your story. But hopefully you want to leave readers with a good experience of that story. You can do that by ensuring you are meeting their needs, as well as your own.

In next week’s #MemoirMonday post, I’ll offer specific examples about how you can do this.

Please note, this post, like every post here at AlexandraAmor.com was written entirely by a human being.

^{Writing on a computer image courtesy Amelia Bartlett on Unsplash}